ooooh look its 2013.
hows it all going for everyone?
the big news is that I havnt had a cigarette since 10am new years day. AMAZING!
I have tried to give up before. quite a few times. But I needed to figure out the right way to do it. I've tried the cutting down technique, i've tried the just being a weekend smoker. And my favourite was the "I'm not gunna not smoke ever again, if I really want one i'll have one" technique. Thats the one where you go for ages without one and then when you finally do cave in you get really drunk and chain smoke.
I finally realised that if i'm gunna stop I need to WANT to stop. And want to stop COMPLETLEY. I have very little natural self control as it is. And i just need to get my head around stopping. Properly. And realising its not something I can dip in and out off. Because if I have one, invariably i'll want another one quite soon.
So 10am new years day, I woke up, made a brew, rolled two slim rollies. And sat there and smoked them whilst I drank my tea. finnished my tea brushed my teeth and put on a nicotine patch.
The last time I tried to give up I was on the patches for weeks. whilst having an e cigarette. Nightmare. So this time I had the patch on for a week just to get me through the "I really want a fag and I would bottle an old lady to get my hand on one" stage. After day 7, on day 8 1 had a busy day and woke up really late. So didnt have time to go to town and get sum more. I got through that day. And it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be. So i thought i'd try another day. Which i did. And felt ok. So thught i'll continue without patches for them moment and if start to feel tempted will get sum more.
I never did.
This time around I have got to day 57 (today) (my sis still smokes.) I still have my days where I really fancy one. Yesterday for instance. Had dinner, nice bit of tele. Could have really just sat there and smoked like 3 in a row. But I didnt.
I'd like to say that I feel amazingly different as a result. But at the moment I dont. I feel a bit less chesty. But other than that the same. Probs my theeth are a bit whiter.
I do miss it sometimes. But i feel free of it now. Its nice not to feel addicted to it.
